Personal Safety

Super Troopers 2 (2018)

Super Troopers 2 (2018)

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Subtitle By: explosiveskull
& Improved By: Fidel33
Sub Upload Date: July 4, 2018
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(DRUMROLL)
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(FANFARE PLAYING)
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(MUSIC ENDS)
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♪ Yes, I ride the lightning,
yes, I’m on the go ♪
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♪ And when I go down slow,
I need more power now ♪
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♪ It keeps me damn lucky,
yes, I just won’t stop ♪
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♪ I’m lit to pop, oh, yes,
I got the power now ♪
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(♪ MUSIC ♪)
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♪ I got a secret
that I’m gonna tell ♪
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♪ I’m feeling power
from the pit of Hell, yeah ♪
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(SIREN WAILING)
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00:01:09,985 –> 00:01:12,519
♪ The power’s flowing
and it just won’t stop ♪
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(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
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00:01:14,056 –> 00:01:17,024
♪ I touch a woman, make the
flesh burn hot, yeah ♪
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♪ Want love to spread,
I think I’m gonna spread it ♪
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♪ The secret’s easy,
now lend me your ear ♪
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♪ Don’t hesitate,
there’s not a thing to fear ♪
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♪ Oh yes I ride the lightning,
yes I’m on the go ♪
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♪ And when I go down slow
I need more power now ♪
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(POUNDING)
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00:01:38,280 –> 00:01:40,713
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
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Do you know how fast
you were going?
24
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No, I don’t, Officer.
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Turn that radio off, please.
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That’s not the radio.
That’s the band practicing.
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(SNIFFING)
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Is that marijuana?
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(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
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You got a party bowl up there?
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Mm, nah.
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00:02:00,336 –> 00:02:03,170
It’s okay, it’s okay.
Is it good?
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(STRAINED) Mm.
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Yeah. Open it up!
I’m fucking boarding you!
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DRIVER: 5-0!
5-0 coming on board.
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Officer, you can’t
just waltz on in here!
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Do you know
who these guys are?
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Unplug this shit right now.
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(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
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No way.
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No fucking way.
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♪ I got a secret
that I’m gonna tell ♪
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♪ I’m feeling power
from the pit of hell, yeah ♪
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♪ I got something to say ♪
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♪ I think
I’m gonna say it ♪
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Holy shit!
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You guys are the highway cops
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that got shut down
and became local cops.
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Then due to some
kinda crazy “incident”…
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you got kicked off
of that force,
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so you started playing music.
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And before you knew it,
you won America’s Got Talent.
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You’re Cracklin’ Bacon!
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What a long,
strange trip it’s been.
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I love you guys! (CHUCKLING)
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Oh, I gotta tell my partner.
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He’s not gonna believe this!
Okay, hold on.
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– Dude, you gotta get over here right now.
– WAGNER: Copy.
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He’s gonna shit his pants.
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MAC: You know what
would be hilarious?
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00:03:02,631 –> 00:03:03,730
When he comes on the bus,
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00:03:03,732 –> 00:03:05,298
kick him in the nuts
as hard as you can.
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00:03:05,300 –> 00:03:06,966
– Really?
– Just drill the guy!
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What the hell
is going on in here?
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– (GROANS)
– (ALL EXCLAIMING)
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(WAGNER COUGHING)
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(LAUGHTER)
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Oh, my God!
You’re Cracklin’ Bacon!
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You guys are my favorite band,
like, ever!
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What? You didn’t even know
who Cracklin’ Bacon was…
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until I played them
for you.
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Yeah, I did!
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Oh, really?
What’s your favorite song?
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“Pulled Pork.”
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– Yeah? How does it go then?
– Uh…
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♪ I’m gonna eat you
like a pulled pork sandwich ♪
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♪ Get inside your bread
like a hot steak Manwich ♪
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(ALL EXCLAIMING)
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This guy’s got some pipes!
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Hey, how would you like
to join Cracklin’ Bacon?
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We’re looking
for a new lead singer.
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Holy shit! (LAUGHING)
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Yeah, oh, I can do it
better than him.
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♪ I’m gonna eat you
like a pulled pork sandwich ♪
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♪ Kung Fu you
like a Jackie Chan-wich ♪
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– (ALL EXCLAIMS)
– Not bad.
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(LAUGHS)
88
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You guys clearly
have the sound.
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But do you have the moves?
Hit it.
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(BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
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– Fist-pumps!
– (ALL CHEERING)
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– Pelvic thrusts.
– (BOTH PUFFING)
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Shake your tail feathers.
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– Shake that ass.
– (ALL CHEERS)
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Now kiss each other.
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I’m sorry. Come again?
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Come on, rock and roll!
Rock and roll, baby!
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– WOMAN #1: Do it!
– MEN: Kiss him!
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(CHANTING) Kiss him! Kiss him!
Kiss him! Kiss him!
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(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
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(ALL EXCLAIMING)
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(LAUGHTER)
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I knew
you were fucking with us.
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You’re fucking
with us, man!
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All right, all right.
You guys clearly have
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what it takes
for rock and roll.
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But there’s one more test
you gotta pass
108
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before we let you
join Cracklin’ Bacon.
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We wanna know if you can
keep up with Juicy Lucy.
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(ALL EXCLAIM TEASINGLY)
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She looks
pretty juicy to me.
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Oh, no, she’s
in the back, okay?
113
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But I warn you,
she can be quite a handful.
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Let’s go handle that!
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ALL: (CHANTING) Juicy Lucy!
Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy!
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About to get juicy up in here!
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WOMAN #1: Hey, baby.
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Hello, Juicy Lucy.
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Oh, that’s not Lucy.
Lucy’s better.
120
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(CHUCKLES) Oh, man!
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Fellas, on the other side
of this door
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is everlasting fame and glory.
123
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You get the giney,
I’ll get the hiney.
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(BEEPS)
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Say hello to Lucy! (YELLS)
126
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(BOTH GROANS)
127
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Move it or lose it!
It’s time to cruise it!
128
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Let’s do it!
129
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(TYRES SCREECH)
130
00:05:21,136 –> 00:05:22,468
Motherfucker!
131
00:05:22,470 –> 00:05:24,907
(BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
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00:05:26,208 –> 00:05:28,174
(TYRES SCREECHING)
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00:05:28,176 –> 00:05:30,011
(ALL CHEERING)
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00:05:31,179 –> 00:05:32,045
(LAUGHING)
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– Son-of-a-bitch!
– Crap damnit!
136
00:05:33,881 –> 00:05:37,150
We sang our hearts off
for those guys. Our hearts!
137
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(SIREN WAILING)
138
00:05:42,256 –> 00:05:43,358
THORNY: We got company.
139
00:05:45,094 –> 00:05:46,328
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
140
00:05:48,063 –> 00:05:49,098
(LAUGHING)
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Can’t outrun the law,
motherfucker!
142
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♪ Don’t hesitate,
there’s not a thing to fear ♪
143
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Fuck you, Cracklin’ Bacon!
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Whoa!
145
00:06:01,809 –> 00:06:03,011
(TYRES SCREECHING)
146
00:06:04,813 –> 00:06:06,982
(OFFICERS SCREAMING)
147
00:06:08,015 –> 00:06:09,117
Oh, shit!
148
00:06:11,386 –> 00:06:13,088
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
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00:06:13,455 –> 00:06:14,789
Motherfucker.
150
00:06:15,991 –> 00:06:17,557
Eat it. Eat it.
Eat it. Eat it.
151
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(GUNSHOTS)
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– (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE)
– (SHOUTING)
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Ah.
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00:06:27,302 –> 00:06:28,934
(ALL CHEERING)
155
00:06:28,936 –> 00:06:30,802
Suck these
fucking bullets, bitch!
156
00:06:30,804 –> 00:06:32,374
– (GUNSHOTS)
– (GLASS SHATTERS)
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(GASPS AND WHIMPERS)
158
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– (GLASS SHATTERS)
– (MUSIC STOPS)
159
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Oh, shit! Mac. Hey,
stay with me. Stay with me.
160
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(WHEEZING) We almost got
those stupid cops…
161
00:06:45,619 –> 00:06:46,886
(CHUCKLES)
162
00:06:46,888 –> 00:06:49,024
– …to kiss.
– Shit.
163
00:06:49,390 –> 00:06:51,460
(SCREAMING)
164
00:06:53,528 –> 00:06:54,796
What’s that?
165
00:06:55,763 –> 00:06:56,965
What the…
166
00:06:57,532 –> 00:06:59,134
Whoa! (YELLS)
167
00:06:59,701 –> 00:07:02,203
(OFFICERS SHRIEKING)
168
00:07:08,143 –> 00:07:09,145
Shit!
169
00:07:09,643 –> 00:07:11,146
(SIGHS)
170
00:07:11,647 –> 00:07:13,015
Hey.
171
00:07:13,914 –> 00:07:15,682
I still love those guys.
172
00:07:15,684 –> 00:07:17,650
Yeah, they’re cool as hell.
(CHUCKLES)
173
00:07:17,652 –> 00:07:19,151
I mean, look at him.
174
00:07:19,153 –> 00:07:20,155
Still cool.
175
00:07:21,789 –> 00:07:23,523
We should probably hide
that body, though.
176
00:07:23,525 –> 00:07:24,527
Yeah.
177
00:07:26,128 –> 00:07:27,930
Hey, great driving, Thorn!
178
00:07:28,362 –> 00:07:29,996
Thorny? Thorny?
179
00:07:29,998 –> 00:07:31,730
Oh, my God! He’s dead!
180
00:07:31,732 –> 00:07:33,165
– Oh, no!
– Ha-ha!
181
00:07:33,167 –> 00:07:34,734
– Aha!
– I got you, motherfucker!
182
00:07:34,736 –> 00:07:36,102
(LAUGHTER)
183
00:07:36,104 –> 00:07:38,841
– I’m not dead! I’m alive!
– He’s alive!
184
00:07:39,540 –> 00:07:40,542
Look out!
185
00:07:41,275 –> 00:07:42,643
Holy…
186
00:07:42,645 –> 00:07:44,079
(ALL YELLING)
187
00:07:45,246 –> 00:07:47,348
(ALL SCREAMING)
188
00:07:49,652 –> 00:07:51,287
– (GRUNTS)
– (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
189
00:07:52,153 –> 00:07:53,454
(SHOUTS)
190
00:07:54,556 –> 00:07:56,592
– Ahhh!
– (YELLING)
191
00:07:58,059 –> 00:07:59,394
(SHOUTS MANIACALLY)
192
00:07:59,828 –> 00:08:02,364
(BOTH SCREAMING)
193
00:08:03,597 –> 00:08:05,030
– (FARVA LAUGHS)
– (SIGHS)
194
00:08:05,032 –> 00:08:07,100
You sleeping, baby boy?
195
00:08:07,102 –> 00:08:09,335
No, I’m just checking out
the ceiling, Farva.
196
00:08:09,337 –> 00:08:10,470
Good work up there.
197
00:08:10,472 –> 00:08:12,304
All right, pull out your caulk
and let’s go.
198
00:08:12,306 –> 00:08:13,439
What?
199
00:08:13,441 –> 00:08:15,775
Let’s go! I’m standing here
with my caulk in my hand.
200
00:08:15,777 –> 00:08:17,276
Grab your caulk,
let’s put it in the holes!
201
00:08:17,278 –> 00:08:18,545
Come on, let me see
that big caulk.
202
00:08:18,547 –> 00:08:19,645
Oh, shut up.
203
00:08:19,647 –> 00:08:20,946
Show me your Rabbit caulk!
204
00:08:20,948 –> 00:08:22,014
MAC: You know
what’s funny, Farva?
205
00:08:22,016 –> 00:08:23,583
You’ve made that joke
400 times
206
00:08:23,585 –> 00:08:24,751
and it still sucks.
207
00:08:24,753 –> 00:08:25,951
Fuck you, Mac.
208
00:08:25,953 –> 00:08:27,386
You don’t talk to your
site supervisor like that.
209
00:08:27,388 –> 00:08:29,489
That’s one demerit
on your permanent record.
210
00:08:29,491 –> 00:08:31,456
(GASPS)On my permanent
construction record?
211
00:08:31,458 –> 00:08:33,059
That’s right. You want
another one, keep it up.
212
00:08:33,061 –> 00:08:34,426
Yeah, give me another
and I’ll pinch your dick.
213
00:08:34,428 –> 00:08:36,762
– That’s two. You want to go for three?
– Okay.
214
00:08:36,764 –> 00:08:38,430
Bingo! You got it!
You want another one?
215
00:08:38,432 –> 00:08:40,099
– Pretty, pretty please.
– You got it!
216
00:08:40,101 –> 00:08:41,400
– You want another one?
– I’ll take them all!
217
00:08:41,402 –> 00:08:42,736
That’s seven!
You want another one?!
218
00:08:42,738 –> 00:08:43,803
Give me ten!
219
00:08:43,805 –> 00:08:45,170
Bingo!
220
00:08:45,172 –> 00:08:47,240
Mac! Stop.
221
00:08:47,242 –> 00:08:51,011
You mess with the bull,
you get covered in bullshit.
222
00:08:51,013 –> 00:08:53,215
(CHEWING LOUDLY)
223
00:08:56,450 –> 00:08:58,450
– What a tool.
– Yeah.
224
00:08:58,452 –> 00:08:59,953
I had the craziest dream.
225
00:08:59,955 –> 00:09:01,521
Who were the cops this time?
226
00:09:01,523 –> 00:09:02,889
Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr.
227
00:09:02,891 –> 00:09:04,024
Did they almost kiss?
228
00:09:04,026 –> 00:09:06,926
Yeah. Yeah.
Almost got them to.
229
00:09:06,928 –> 00:09:08,828
(COUNTRY MUSIC
RINGTONE PLAYING)
230
00:09:08,830 –> 00:09:09,962
Uh, hello.
231
00:09:09,964 –> 00:09:12,665
– Morning, Mac!
– Good morning, Uncle Argyle.
232
00:09:12,667 –> 00:09:15,635
Code names? Is Farva nearby?
233
00:09:15,637 –> 00:09:16,870
Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.
234
00:09:16,872 –> 00:09:19,137
Do me a favor,
spackle his mouth shut.
235
00:09:19,139 –> 00:09:20,473
MAC: (LAUGHS)
Okay, will do.
236
00:09:20,475 –> 00:09:23,609
So, change of location for
this weekend’s fishing trip.
237
00:09:23,611 –> 00:09:25,245
Just over the Canadian border.
238
00:09:25,247 –> 00:09:27,112
Oh, sweet! I love Canada.
239
00:09:27,114 –> 00:09:30,150
(CHUCKLES) Good one!
I’ll mail you the address.
240
00:09:30,152 –> 00:09:32,852
– What, like with a stamp? Just text me.
– Text?
241
00:09:32,854 –> 00:09:36,290
Oh, you mean like,
uh, mail text? Yeah.
242
00:09:36,292 –> 00:09:38,891
I do believe I have
that facility on this phone.
243
00:09:38,893 –> 00:09:40,293
Okay, will do.
244
00:09:40,295 –> 00:09:42,261
That’s it. I’m teaching you
how to text this weekend.
245
00:09:42,263 –> 00:09:43,963
– No personal calls, Mac.
– What the fuck?
246
00:09:43,965 –> 00:09:46,698
– Whoop.
– Oh, God damn it, Farva.
247
00:09:46,700 –> 00:09:49,368
– I told you no personal calls.
– It was a sales call.
248
00:09:49,370 –> 00:09:50,670
Oh, yeah?
What were they selling?
249
00:09:50,672 –> 00:09:52,572
Ooh, was it canned salmon?
I love canned salmon.
250
00:09:52,574 –> 00:09:54,741
It’s better than tuna,
you know. It’s a salty fish.
251
00:09:54,743 –> 00:09:55,842
I like a salty fish.
252
00:09:55,844 –> 00:09:57,477
Like a grouper
or maybe a branzino.
253
00:09:57,479 –> 00:09:59,545
Something that really
jerks off your blood pressure.
254
00:09:59,547 –> 00:10:02,082
You know what’s salty? Turtle.
You ever had turtle before?
255
00:10:02,084 –> 00:10:03,750
Saltiest part? The shell.
256
00:10:03,752 –> 00:10:05,885
What do I have to say to get
you to end this conversation?
257
00:10:05,887 –> 00:10:07,286
You could say,
“The guy on the phone
258
00:10:07,288 –> 00:10:09,054
was trying to sell me
hard dicks.”
259
00:10:09,056 –> 00:10:10,957
The guy on the phone was
trying to sell me hard dicks.
260
00:10:10,959 –> 00:10:12,858
I bet you bought
a baker’s dozen. (LAUGHS)
261
00:10:12,860 –> 00:10:14,059
Let’s lay some caulk!
262
00:10:14,061 –> 00:10:16,565
I got fresh caulk, everybody!
Hot caulk here.
263
00:10:17,499 –> 00:10:19,631
Who wants caulk?
264
00:10:19,633 –> 00:10:22,168
MAC: He really wants to leave
right from work, huh?
265
00:10:22,170 –> 00:10:24,173
RABBIT: He said,
“Real men travel light.”
266
00:10:27,676 –> 00:10:30,112
(GRUNTING)
267
00:10:36,084 –> 00:10:38,220
God, he looks ridiculous.
268
00:10:41,455 –> 00:10:43,256
No, I think
he looks pretty cool.
269
00:10:43,258 –> 00:10:44,491
Like the Brawny
Paper Towel Guy.
270
00:10:44,493 –> 00:10:47,160
See, I was gonna say
the Bombay Paper Towel Guy.
271
00:10:47,162 –> 00:10:48,261
– RABBIT: Hey, Thorn.
– MAC: Hey.
272
00:10:48,263 –> 00:10:50,863
Job sucks.
It’s all sap and splinters.
273
00:10:50,865 –> 00:10:51,964
(MAC LAUGHS)
274
00:10:51,966 –> 00:10:53,599
Now it smells like Bombay.
275
00:10:53,601 –> 00:10:54,934
– You wanna put that shirt back on?
– Whew!
276
00:10:54,936 –> 00:10:56,069
Breathe it in, little fella.
277
00:10:56,071 –> 00:10:57,569
That’s the smell
of a mountain man.
278
00:10:57,571 –> 00:11:00,106
Right. Okay, what time you due
back at the hobo zoo?
279
00:11:00,108 –> 00:11:01,542
– (LAUGHS)
– (SIREN CHIRPS)
280
00:11:05,912 –> 00:11:07,179
Hey, hey!
281
00:11:07,181 –> 00:11:08,481
What’s up, guys?
282
00:11:08,483 –> 00:11:09,849
Nice ride!
283
00:11:09,851 –> 00:11:11,083
RABBIT: Hey, Chief.
284
00:11:11,085 –> 00:11:12,388
Son of a bitch.
285
00:11:13,153 –> 00:11:14,920
– Ta-da!
– MEN: Hey!
286
00:11:14,922 –> 00:11:16,423
What’s up, Foster?
287
00:11:16,425 –> 00:11:17,491
He is all yours.
288
00:11:17,493 –> 00:11:19,959
I’m tired of him riding
in my sidecar anyway.
289
00:11:19,961 –> 00:11:21,493
That’s not what
you said last night.
290
00:11:21,495 –> 00:11:23,029
OFFICER: (ON RADIO)
Chief, we have a 214
291
00:11:23,031 –> 00:11:24,564
out at
the Shuck n’ Rack Motel.
292
00:11:24,566 –> 00:11:25,665
Officer needs guidance.
293
00:11:25,667 –> 00:11:27,299
– I’ll be right there.
– OFFICER: (ON RADIO) Copy.
294
00:11:27,301 –> 00:11:29,102
(SIGHS) I wish you guys
didn’t get fired.
295
00:11:29,104 –> 00:11:31,838
We weren’t fired.
We were invited to resign.
296
00:11:31,840 –> 00:11:33,205
– Ah.
– Ooh, I like that.
297
00:11:33,207 –> 00:11:36,007
No, you were fired. There was
that ride-along gone wrong.
298
00:11:36,009 –> 00:11:38,010
Then you were fired.
299
00:11:38,012 –> 00:11:39,612
We’ll just have to agree
to disagree.
300
00:11:39,614 –> 00:11:40,746
All right.
301
00:11:40,748 –> 00:11:42,948
Well, you fellas have fun.
302
00:11:42,950 –> 00:11:45,184
Just get him back
in one piece, all right?
303
00:11:45,186 –> 00:11:47,587
With the rod. I’m gonna
need it next weekend.
304
00:11:47,589 –> 00:11:48,654
Hello!
305
00:11:48,656 –> 00:11:49,622
That’s my girl.
306
00:11:49,624 –> 00:11:51,325
All right, boys,
let’s go fishing.
307
00:11:54,361 –> 00:11:56,127
THORNY: And the beauty is,
the black is so black
308
00:11:56,129 –> 00:11:57,296
that it’s really blue.
309
00:11:57,298 –> 00:11:59,232
I mean,
it’s really midnight blue.
310
00:11:59,234 –> 00:12:01,032
Ah, just like
the old days, huh?
311
00:12:01,034 –> 00:12:02,367
Driving around
the countryside,
312
00:12:02,369 –> 00:12:03,937
listening to Thorny
talk about his dick.
313
00:12:03,939 –> 00:12:05,872
– I miss the old days.
– RABBIT: That’s bullshit, man.
314
00:12:05,874 –> 00:12:07,473
That Fred Savage thing
was not our fault.
315
00:12:07,475 –> 00:12:09,275
Actors shouldn’t
do ride-alongs.
316
00:12:09,277 –> 00:12:10,876
Actors shouldn’t even
try to play cops.
317
00:12:10,878 –> 00:12:12,612
I mean, (SCOFFS)
they never get it right.
318
00:12:12,614 –> 00:12:13,614
(LAUGHTER)
319
00:12:19,988 –> 00:12:22,155
– Hey, there.
– How you doin’?
320
00:12:22,157 –> 00:12:24,490
Good. You boys here
for business or pleasure?
321
00:12:24,492 –> 00:12:26,126
– Just going fishing.
– Good timing.
322
00:12:26,128 –> 00:12:27,727
You’ll be up to yer tits
in the walleye.
323
00:12:27,729 –> 00:12:30,096
I caught one last week.
Was seven kilograms.
324
00:12:30,098 –> 00:12:31,530
Is that big?
325
00:12:31,532 –> 00:12:33,734
Is that big? That’s like nine
decimeters from tip to tail.
326
00:12:34,735 –> 00:12:37,102
– You a jigger man?
– What did you call me?
327
00:12:37,104 –> 00:12:38,271
Well, I like to use
the jigger rod
328
00:12:38,273 –> 00:12:39,572
for when I’m catching
the walleye.
329
00:12:39,574 –> 00:12:40,873
But of course
when you’re doing that
330
00:12:40,875 –> 00:12:42,174
you gotta run extra light.
331
00:12:42,176 –> 00:12:45,078
Unless you’re someone like
you there in the back.
332
00:12:45,080 –> 00:12:46,913
– What are you, a bodybuilder?
– (CHUCKLES) No.
333
00:12:46,915 –> 00:12:48,580
What do you bench?
Wait, don’t tell me.
334
00:12:48,582 –> 00:12:50,315
I don’t want you
to embarrass me.
335
00:12:50,317 –> 00:12:53,519
– But I would like two tickets to your gun show. (LAUGHS)
– FOSTER: Ah, okay.
336
00:12:53,521 –> 00:12:56,454
You guys are good to go.
Sorry to hold ya up.
337
00:12:56,456 –> 00:12:59,327
– Let them go!
– MAC: Thanks! Take her easy.
338
00:13:00,561 –> 00:13:02,694
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Typical Canadian hardass.
339
00:13:02,696 –> 00:13:04,997
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) “Sorry.
I’m really sorry. Sorry.”
340
00:13:04,999 –> 00:13:06,698
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
“Oh, so sorry.”
341
00:13:06,700 –> 00:13:08,700
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Hey,
fellas, any chance you can
342
00:13:08,702 –> 00:13:11,003
come over to the house later
and play some Sorry?
343
00:13:11,005 –> 00:13:13,272
MAC: Sure.
How about nine o’clock?
344
00:13:13,274 –> 00:13:15,141
THORNY: Ooh,
nine o’clock doesn’t work.
345
00:13:15,143 –> 00:13:16,543
– Sorry about that.
– (LAUGHTER)
346
00:13:16,545 –> 00:13:18,277
MAC: (IN NORMAL TONE)
French ones are the worst. Ha!
347
00:13:18,279 –> 00:13:20,378
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Would you
like some ratatouille
348
00:13:20,380 –> 00:13:22,681
with your pain du chocolat?
349
00:13:22,683 –> 00:13:26,218
Oui, oui! I’m gonna get
some jambon et fromage.
350
00:13:26,220 –> 00:13:27,655
(LAUGHTER)
351
00:13:29,224 –> 00:13:30,455
THORNY: This can’t be it.
352
00:13:30,457 –> 00:13:32,324
MAC: Well, this is the address
Cap sent me.
353
00:13:32,326 –> 00:13:35,059
Although he did just learn
how to text.
354
00:13:35,061 –> 00:13:36,295
Now what would compel somebody
355
00:13:36,297 –> 00:13:37,664
to throw a tire
up on the roof?
356
00:13:37,666 –> 00:13:40,165
FOSTER: What, you never played
“Throw the Tire on the Roof”?
357
00:13:40,167 –> 00:13:41,333
MAC: (LAUGHS)
No, is that the kind of shit
358
00:13:41,335 –> 00:13:42,501
you guys played in Rutland?
359
00:13:42,503 –> 00:13:44,873
FOSTER: Sure. Never got
“tired” of that game.
360
00:13:50,811 –> 00:13:53,378
(FLIES BUZZING)
361
00:13:53,380 –> 00:13:55,747
FOSTER: Uh, we are
in the wrong place.
362
00:13:55,749 –> 00:13:59,117
O’HAGAN:
No. You’re in the right place.
363
00:13:59,119 –> 00:14:00,252
MAC: What’s the deal
with the creepy,
364
00:14:00,254 –> 00:14:01,420
remote shithole, Cap?
365
00:14:01,422 –> 00:14:02,988
You gonna make us put
the lotion in the basket?
366
00:14:02,990 –> 00:14:04,591
No, I’ve got a surprise
for you.
367
00:14:04,593 –> 00:14:07,025
I didn’t tell you up front
’cause you tend to be
368
00:14:07,027 –> 00:14:09,429
a bunch of
wide-mouth bassholes.
369
00:14:09,431 –> 00:14:13,998
Well, then, why don’t you let
me reel in these fish, John?
370
00:14:14,000 –> 00:14:15,568
THORNY:
Governor Jessman?
371
00:14:15,570 –> 00:14:17,069
Hey, I didn’t see
the motorcade.
372
00:14:17,071 –> 00:14:19,606
– We’re keeping my visit quiet.
– Mm.
373
00:14:19,608 –> 00:14:20,973
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog.
374
00:14:20,975 –> 00:14:22,641
Show some respect, Mac!
375
00:14:22,643 –> 00:14:23,609
Sorry.
376
00:14:23,611 –> 00:14:25,511
I’m here
on official business.
377
00:14:25,513 –> 00:14:27,814
We’ve got
an intriguing situation
378
00:14:27,816 –> 00:14:29,549
going on in these parts.
379
00:14:29,551 –> 00:14:32,319
JESSMAN: With all the heat
on immigration these days,
380
00:14:32,321 –> 00:14:33,986
the U.S. has been
going through
381
00:14:33,988 –> 00:14:35,420
a border reassessment.
382
00:14:35,422 –> 00:14:38,223
It turns out that some
of the original stone markers
383
00:14:38,225 –> 00:14:40,392
that delineated
America from Canada,
384
00:14:40,394 –> 00:14:41,763
weren’t where
we thought they’d be.
385
00:14:42,562 –> 00:14:44,664
Here is where the border was.
386
00:14:44,666 –> 00:14:48,734
But here is where
we found the stone markers.
387
00:14:48,736 –> 00:14:51,471
So this town,
St. Georges du Laurent,
388
00:14:51,473 –> 00:14:53,372
and the area surrounding it,
389
00:14:53,374 –> 00:14:55,440
are actually on American soil.
390
00:14:55,442 –> 00:14:56,876
So we’re going to war?
391
00:14:56,878 –> 00:14:59,145
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Ah, gee,
that’d be a quick one, eh?
392
00:14:59,147 –> 00:15:00,378
(ALL LAUGHS)
393
00:15:00,380 –> 00:15:01,848
No. After negotiations,
394
00:15:01,850 –> 00:15:03,782
they’ve agreed
to turn the land over.
395
00:15:03,784 –> 00:15:04,751
Vermont’s about to get
396
00:15:04,753 –> 00:15:06,586
– a little more head room.
– RABBIT: Hm.
397
00:15:06,588 –> 00:15:08,255
So, it was up to me to find
398
00:15:08,257 –> 00:15:10,723
a temporary police force
to help with the transition.
399
00:15:10,725 –> 00:15:13,959
A group of officers
familiar with the border area,
400
00:15:13,961 –> 00:15:17,796
experienced in patrolling
a stretch of highway.
401
00:15:17,798 –> 00:15:21,833
Guys who maybe caught a bad
break the last time around?
402
00:15:21,835 –> 00:15:24,136
So, you fellas want
a crack at your old jobs?
403
00:15:24,138 –> 00:15:26,405
(ALL CHEERING)
404
00:15:26,407 –> 00:15:29,875
Easy, you hooligans!
I’m a senior citizen!
405
00:15:29,877 –> 00:15:32,411
And if this two-week
assignment goes well,
406
00:15:32,413 –> 00:15:34,247
I might be able
to make it permanent.
407
00:15:34,249 –> 00:15:36,650
Trust us. It’ll go well.
408
00:15:36,652 –> 00:15:37,982
And who are you?
409
00:15:37,984 –> 00:15:39,819
Oh, I’m one of the cops.
410
00:15:39,821 –> 00:15:41,621
We picked him up
outside of Home Depot.
411
00:15:41,623 –> 00:15:43,455
Fantastic.
412
00:15:43,457 –> 00:15:45,525
You’ll be phasing out
a Canadian Mountie unit.
413
00:15:45,527 –> 00:15:47,727
We lined up a meet and greet
with them tomorrow.
414
00:15:47,729 –> 00:15:48,729
(CAR HORN HONKING)
415
00:15:50,130 –> 00:15:51,430
Oh, yeah!
416
00:15:51,432 –> 00:15:53,632
I wanted to make sure you had
your full team back,
417
00:15:53,634 –> 00:15:55,568
so I tracked down
your other guy too.
418
00:15:55,570 –> 00:15:56,935
(SIGHS) No fucking way.
419
00:15:56,937 –> 00:15:57,837
– (DOOR OPENS)
– Oh, no.
420
00:15:57,839 –> 00:16:01,306
Sorry I’m late.
Hit a moose doing 90.
421
00:16:01,308 –> 00:16:03,309
– Vaporized the beyotch!
– (O’HAGAN SIGHS)
422
00:16:03,311 –> 00:16:04,776
FARVA: You know they have
Eskimo hookers up here?
423
00:16:04,778 –> 00:16:06,880
When they have sex,
they really get “Inuit”.
424
00:16:06,882 –> 00:16:08,613
(LAUGHS) Pelé!
425
00:16:08,615 –> 00:16:09,482
(GROANS)
426
00:16:09,484 –> 00:16:10,686
MAC:
God damn it.
427
00:16:11,452 –> 00:16:12,785
Farva, you fuck.
428
00:16:12,787 –> 00:16:13,953
Back in business!
429
00:16:13,955 –> 00:16:16,358
– (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
– (TRIMMER WHIRRING)
430
00:16:37,043 –> 00:16:41,146
Bullshit! Who ordered these?
I can’t feel my tits!
431
00:16:41,148 –> 00:16:42,450
(ALL LAUGHS)
432
00:17:05,773 –> 00:17:06,838
Hey!
433
00:17:06,840 –> 00:17:08,273
Desk buddies, guy?
434
00:17:08,275 –> 00:17:10,510
Are you positive
you want to quit your old job?
435
00:17:10,512 –> 00:17:12,478
I mean,
Construction Supervisor.
436
00:17:12,480 –> 00:17:14,279
And give up the chance
to crack some Canuck melons?
437
00:17:14,281 –> 00:17:16,084
I don’t think so, bro-haim.
438
00:17:17,151 –> 00:17:18,751
♪ Welcome to the Fart Zone ♪
439
00:17:18,753 –> 00:17:20,618
– (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
– FOSTER: Body armor, check.
440
00:17:20,620 –> 00:17:23,255
Tactical flashlights. Why not?
441
00:17:23,257 –> 00:17:25,390
Ooh, heat vision goggles.
Check.
442
00:17:25,392 –> 00:17:26,693
Why would we need those?
443
00:17:26,695 –> 00:17:27,893
Uh, we’re in Canada now,
Rabbit.
444
00:17:27,895 –> 00:17:29,627
What if we have to find
somebody in the snow?
445
00:17:29,629 –> 00:17:30,695
Uh, there is snow in Vermont.
446
00:17:30,697 –> 00:17:32,431
Okay,
I’m the “order stuff” guy.
447
00:17:32,433 –> 00:17:33,801
You do your thing. All right?
448
00:17:34,202 –> 00:17:35,334
Okay.
449
00:17:35,336 –> 00:17:38,738
One yellow safety vest
for Rabbit.
450
00:17:38,740 –> 00:17:41,941
Woo! A roving
GPS triangulator.
451
00:17:41,943 –> 00:17:44,409
Triangulator? Get a load
of James Bond over here.
452
00:17:44,411 –> 00:17:45,677
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
453
00:17:45,679 –> 00:17:48,114
Another yellow safety vest
for Thorny.
454
00:17:48,116 –> 00:17:49,648
FARVA: Thorn, Thorn, Thorn,
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn.
455
00:17:49,650 –> 00:17:53,319
Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod.
You’re out, he’s in.
456
00:17:53,321 –> 00:17:55,320
Okay.
457
00:17:55,322 –> 00:17:57,656
O’HAGAN:
Hey, place looks great!
458
00:17:57,658 –> 00:17:59,024
MAC: What have you
been cleaning, Cap?
459
00:17:59,026 –> 00:18:01,327
I’ll clean your clock
if you don’t watch out.
460
00:18:01,329 –> 00:18:02,830
Okay, let’s get started.
461
00:18:03,998 –> 00:18:05,396
Don’t push it, Mac.
462
00:18:05,398 –> 00:18:06,866
Get started
doing some pullovers?
463
00:18:06,868 –> 00:18:08,200
No, we’re not doing
your pullovers.
464
00:18:08,202 –> 00:18:09,503
Everything will be
by the book.
465
00:18:10,303 –> 00:18:11,605
Everything!
466
00:18:14,542 –> 00:18:16,674
Cap, you know how hard
I worked on this thing?
467
00:18:16,676 –> 00:18:18,476
Big face, big mustache.
468
00:18:18,478 –> 00:18:20,279
I don’t care how big
your face is. Shave it!
469
00:18:20,281 –> 00:18:21,347
FARVA:
Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap!
470
00:18:21,349 –> 00:18:22,414
I’m good, right?
471
00:18:22,416 –> 00:18:24,482
I got a tight mouth-muff.
(EXHALES)
472
00:18:24,484 –> 00:18:27,219
– Talk about big faces.
– That’s face-ism, Cap.
473
00:18:27,221 –> 00:18:29,088
Not regulation! Shave it!
474
00:18:29,090 –> 00:18:31,991
Right! Let’s go
and see some Mounties.
475
00:18:31,993 –> 00:18:35,931
(CHUCKLES) Remember the three
B’s: Best Behavior, Boys.
476
00:18:39,767 –> 00:18:40,801
Hey.
477
00:18:42,102 –> 00:18:45,003
– How’s it going?
– Feels like 1983 in here.
478
00:18:45,005 –> 00:18:46,538
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Oh, there they are.
479
00:18:46,540 –> 00:18:48,540
I am Mayor Guy LeFranc.
480
00:18:48,542 –> 00:18:51,344
Mayor of Saint Georges
du Laurent, Canada!
481
00:18:51,346 –> 00:18:53,613
Or, as it’s about to be known:
482
00:18:53,615 –> 00:18:56,348
St. George of Lawrence,
America. (CHUCKLES)
483
00:18:56,350 –> 00:18:59,385
I don’t know. I’m not so good
with American. Welcome.
484
00:18:59,387 –> 00:19:01,119
Uh, the Guy LeFranc?
485
00:19:01,121 –> 00:19:03,388
From the Montreal Canadiens
Minor League system?
486
00:19:03,390 –> 00:19:05,825
The leading scorer
of the Halifax Bear Eaters?
487
00:19:05,827 –> 00:19:07,693
Eighth most points
in CHL history.
488
00:19:07,695 –> 00:19:10,061
Yeah, I know. Two points
behind Shotti Fitznugly.
489
00:19:10,063 –> 00:19:11,129
Look at this guy!
490
00:19:11,131 –> 00:19:12,365
I love hockey.
491
00:19:12,367 –> 00:19:13,732
Your nickname, um,
492
00:19:13,734 –> 00:19:15,467
don’t tell me,
it was, uh, “The Explosion”.
493
00:19:15,469 –> 00:19:17,337
“The Halifax Explosion.”
494
00:19:17,339 –> 00:19:19,370
Named after
the single greatest
495
00:19:19,372 –> 00:19:21,840
man-made explosion
before Hiroshima.
496
00:19:21,842 –> 00:19:23,541
It was 1917,
497
00:19:23,543 –> 00:19:24,976
ship laden with dynamite
498
00:19:24,978 –> 00:19:27,379
crashed into another ship
in Halifax Harbor.
499
00:19:27,381 –> 00:19:28,947
Tremendous explosion
and loss of life.
500
00:19:28,949 –> 00:19:30,683
Burned people’s eyes out
with the blast.
501
00:19:30,685 –> 00:19:32,351
Many were blinded
by the light.
502
00:19:32,353 –> 00:19:33,484
Like the song says.
503
00:19:33,486 –> 00:19:36,088
And a First Nations tribe
was lost.
504
00:19:36,090 –> 00:19:37,589
Probably would’ve
happened to them anyway,
505
00:19:37,591 –> 00:19:39,157
– but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh?
– (ALL AGREE)
506
00:19:39,159 –> 00:19:43,128
So, I am the second biggest
explosion from Halifax.
507
00:19:43,130 –> 00:19:44,262
But enough about me.
508
00:19:44,264 –> 00:19:45,697
Meet the Mounties. Guys!
509
00:19:45,699 –> 00:19:47,899
Guys, come on over here.
510
00:19:47,901 –> 00:19:51,069
This here is Sergeant Major
Roger Archambault.
511
00:19:51,071 –> 00:19:54,773
This is Staff Sergeant Major
Henri Podein,
512
00:19:54,775 –> 00:19:57,342
and Sergeant
Christophe Bellefuille.
513
00:19:57,344 –> 00:19:58,644
Total gobbledygook.
514
00:19:58,646 –> 00:20:01,547
I’m John O’Hagan.
This is Rod Farva,
515
00:20:01,549 –> 00:20:04,517
Robbie Roto, Carl Foster,
MacIntyre Womack
516
00:20:04,519 –> 00:20:06,319
and Arcot Ramathorn.
517
00:20:06,321 –> 00:20:08,288
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
518
00:20:08,290 –> 00:20:09,754
(MOUNTIES LAUGH)
519
00:20:09,756 –> 00:20:11,155
(IN ENGLISH) I’ll let
you guys chew the cud.
520
00:20:11,157 –> 00:20:12,657
Why don’t we go fuck off
to the other room here?
521
00:20:12,659 –> 00:20:14,961
– Yeah, sure.
– (DOOR OPENS)
522
00:20:14,963 –> 00:20:16,028
(DOOR CLOSES)
523
00:20:16,030 –> 00:20:19,334
I’m gonna get a Schlitz!
That’s American for beer.
524
00:20:22,570 –> 00:20:24,669
So, you do guys
ride horses or…
525
00:20:24,671 –> 00:20:26,238
(IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
Yeah, this isn’t 1957.
526
00:20:26,240 –> 00:20:27,773
We drive Crown Victorias.
527
00:20:27,775 –> 00:20:29,607
Hey, us too.
You get a little soup in them,
528
00:20:29,609 –> 00:20:31,976
they can really rip
your knob off. Am I right?
529
00:20:31,978 –> 00:20:32,978
(SPITS)
530
00:20:32,980 –> 00:20:35,080
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
We hear about you guy, heh?
531
00:20:35,082 –> 00:20:38,383
Because first, you get your
highway station shut down.
532
00:20:38,385 –> 00:20:40,051
And then, you get kick out
533
00:20:40,053 –> 00:20:42,823
from your second job
because of this, uh,
534
00:20:43,558 –> 00:20:45,357
Fred Savage thing.
535
00:20:45,359 –> 00:20:46,626
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
“Savage.”
536
00:20:46,628 –> 00:20:48,260
(IN NORMAL TONE) Makes it
sound intriguing, at least.
537
00:20:48,262 –> 00:20:50,229
BELLEFUILLE: (IN CANADIAN ACCENT)
So, what are you going to do here?
538
00:20:50,231 –> 00:20:51,563
Go for the hat trick?
539
00:20:51,565 –> 00:20:52,897
(MOUNTIES LAUGHING)
540
00:20:52,899 –> 00:20:54,665
Well, we’re actually hoping
to hold on to these jobs.
541
00:20:54,667 –> 00:20:55,768
(TROOPERS CHUCKLE)
542
00:20:55,770 –> 00:20:57,669
What are you guys
doing after the turnover?
543
00:20:57,671 –> 00:21:00,540
Oh, they’re transferring us
up to Labrador City.
544
00:21:00,542 –> 00:21:01,607
– Oh!
– Cool.
545
00:21:01,609 –> 00:21:02,942
BELLEFUILLE:
It’s cool, all right.
546
00:21:02,944 –> 00:21:06,444
Average winter temperature
is minus 18 degrees Celsius!
547
00:21:06,446 –> 00:21:08,079
Yeah, all you have
to do to convert
548
00:21:08,081 –> 00:21:11,517
is times two, add 32 and join
the rest of the human race.
549
00:21:11,519 –> 00:21:12,617
Hey, Rookie,
550
00:21:12,619 –> 00:21:13,985
they got non-alcoholic Molsons
over here.
551
00:21:13,987 –> 00:21:16,320
Want me to get you
a half carafe? (LAUGHS)
552
00:21:16,322 –> 00:21:19,591
Oh, we got a rookie there?
They shave your nuts yet?
553
00:21:19,593 –> 00:21:21,327
Canadian tradition says
you got to shave
554
00:21:21,329 –> 00:21:23,494
the rook’s nuts,
otherwise it’s bad luck.
555
00:21:23,496 –> 00:21:25,030
– You don’t say?
– Bad luck?
556
00:21:25,032 –> 00:21:26,665
I’m actually not a rookie…
557
00:21:26,667 –> 00:21:28,134
Which one of you guys
has least seniority?
558
00:21:28,136 –> 00:21:30,534
– (TROOPERS MUMBLE)
– I mean, technically I…
559
00:21:30,536 –> 00:21:31,771
(CHUCKLES)
Shave this guy ball!
560
00:21:31,773 –> 00:21:33,605
Come on,
shave both of his ball.
561
00:21:33,607 –> 00:21:34,773
(MOUNTIES COAXING)
562
00:21:34,775 –> 00:21:37,210
– Shave your ball, your dick.
– (ALL LAUGHING)
563
00:21:37,212 –> 00:21:39,810
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hello,
hello! Welcome to Canada.
564
00:21:39,812 –> 00:21:41,614
I’m Genevieve Aubois,
565
00:21:41,616 –> 00:21:44,116
Cultural Attaché
of Saint Georges du Laurent.
566
00:21:44,118 –> 00:21:46,586
I will see that
things go smoothly
567
00:21:46,588 –> 00:21:47,986
in the next few weeks.
568
00:21:47,988 –> 00:21:50,321
And please,
if you have any questions,
569
00:21:50,323 –> 00:21:51,993
don’t hesitate to ask.
570
00:21:53,427 –> 00:21:54,428
(SMACKS LIPS)
571
00:21:55,928 –> 00:21:57,996
Keep heading north,
big fella.
572
00:21:57,998 –> 00:22:00,599
You don’t look at the mantel when you’re
poking the fire, you know what I’m saying?
573
00:22:00,601 –> 00:22:02,434
– Right, guys? You know what I’m saying, right?
– Jesus, Farva.
574
00:22:02,436 –> 00:22:03,469
(FARVA LAUGHS)
575
00:22:03,471 –> 00:22:04,703
GENEVIEVE: Okay.
576
00:22:04,705 –> 00:22:07,373
Well, they are waiting for us
in the other room.
577
00:22:07,375 –> 00:22:09,742
So, please, suivez-moi.
578
00:22:09,744 –> 00:22:11,413
Who is waiting where?
579
00:22:13,580 –> 00:22:14,946
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
580
00:22:14,948 –> 00:22:17,284
(MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING)
581
00:22:22,990 –> 00:22:25,760
Boy, I didn’t know the whole
town was gonna be here.
582
00:22:30,764 –> 00:22:32,231
(MIC FEEDBACK)
583
00:22:32,233 –> 00:22:33,734
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
584
00:22:39,873 –> 00:22:41,107
– (CHUCKLES)
– Oh.
585
00:22:41,109 –> 00:22:42,074
(ALL LAUGHING)
586
00:22:42,076 –> 00:22:43,542
It’s about my
mustache, right?
587
00:22:43,544 –> 00:22:44,844
They’re laughing
at my mustache?
588
00:22:44,846 –> 00:22:47,745
Please, let’s give a big
Canadian welcome
589
00:22:47,747 –> 00:22:50,549
to the Vermont Highway Patrol.
590
00:22:50,551 –> 00:22:52,850
(CROWD BOOING)
591
00:22:52,852 –> 00:22:54,185
GUY:
Hey, hey, everyone!
592
00:22:54,187 –> 00:22:55,454
Come on, guys.
They’ve come up here
593
00:22:55,456 –> 00:22:56,521
to tell us how great
it’s gonna be
594
00:22:56,523 –> 00:22:57,822
for all of us
to become Americans.
595
00:22:57,824 –> 00:22:59,960
So, let them speak. Captain?
596
00:23:00,695 –> 00:23:02,694
Uh… (CLEARS THROAT)
597
00:23:02,696 –> 00:23:05,164
– Bonsoir.
– (MIC FEEDBACK)
598
00:23:05,166 –> 00:23:08,901
You know, this reminds me
of the story of the rabbi,
599
00:23:08,903 –> 00:23:12,003
the priest,
and the Hindu in a canoe.
600
00:23:12,005 –> 00:23:13,571
WOMAN: Go blow yourself!
601
00:23:13,573 –> 00:23:14,839
(LAUGHTER)
602
00:23:14,841 –> 00:23:16,674
I’m Captain John O’Hagan. I…
603
00:23:16,676 –> 00:23:19,044
Yeah, eat it, you old donkey!
604
00:23:19,046 –> 00:23:20,011
(LAUGHTER)
605
00:23:20,013 –> 00:23:22,414
Hey, easy.
Hey, look, look.
606
00:23:22,416 –> 00:23:24,649
Technically,
we’re all Americans, right?
607
00:23:24,651 –> 00:23:26,217
North Americans.
608
00:23:26,219 –> 00:23:28,754
Very little is gonna change
around here.
609
00:23:28,756 –> 00:23:29,988
Oh, yeah, right!
You’re probably gonna tell us
610
00:23:29,990 –> 00:23:31,423
we can’t listen
to Rush anymore!
611
00:23:31,425 –> 00:23:32,857
Or the Barenaked Ladies!
612
00:23:32,859 –> 00:23:35,360
– (ANGRY CHATTER)
– Hey. Hey. Hey!
613
00:23:35,362 –> 00:23:36,662
People, people.
614
00:23:36,664 –> 00:23:38,597
I love Rush
and the Barenaked Ladies.
615
00:23:38,599 –> 00:23:39,798
You should listen to both.
616
00:23:39,800 –> 00:23:41,767
So, you are telling us
who to listen to!
617
00:23:41,769 –> 00:23:42,901
No, no. I’m just…
618
00:23:42,903 –> 00:23:43,969
And then that one’s
gonna tell us
619
00:23:43,971 –> 00:23:45,404
we have to start
eating tortillas!
620
00:23:45,406 –> 00:23:47,775
– FOSTER: It’s a common mistake.
– MAN #1: Bullshit!
621
00:23:48,376 –> 00:23:49,642
Hey! Listen up.
622
00:23:49,644 –> 00:23:51,743
This is America now.
Like it or lump it!
623
00:23:51,745 –> 00:23:53,212
Repeat after me:
624
00:23:53,214 –> 00:23:56,581
I pledge of allegiance
to the flag
625
00:23:56,583 –> 00:23:59,119
of the United States
of America.
626
00:23:59,654 –> 00:24:00,919
Learn the words!
627
00:24:00,921 –> 00:24:02,453
Learn the words!
628
00:24:02,455 –> 00:24:03,457
Fuck you!
629
00:24:04,458 –> 00:24:06,360
– (GROANS)
– (CROWD CLAMORING)
630
00:24:07,962 –> 00:24:10,031
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
631
00:24:11,064 –> 00:24:12,830
MAN #2: You don’t even know
how to play hockey!
632
00:24:12,832 –> 00:24:15,367
(CLAMORING CONTINUES)
633
00:24:15,369 –> 00:24:17,802
I didn’t think they’d see us
as an occupying force.
634
00:24:17,804 –> 00:24:19,370
Oh, my God!
Your eye.
635
00:24:19,372 –> 00:24:20,739
That might leave a scar.
636
00:24:20,741 –> 00:24:21,874
I was looking
too pretty anyway.
637
00:24:21,876 –> 00:24:23,040
(CHUCKLES)
638
00:24:23,042 –> 00:24:24,809
I can sew you up at my car.
639
00:24:24,811 –> 00:24:25,976
You’re a doctor?
640
00:24:25,978 –> 00:24:28,078
No, no. I coach
the girls’ hockey team,
641
00:24:28,080 –> 00:24:30,251
so I know my way
around a gash.
642
00:24:30,885 –> 00:24:32,017
Are you making a…
643
00:24:32,019 –> 00:24:35,721
Oui . A double entendre
for la vagine.
644
00:24:35,723 –> 00:24:37,322
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
645
00:24:37,324 –> 00:24:39,424
Let’s go, quickly!
646
00:24:39,426 –> 00:24:41,760
THORNY: I thought Canadians
are supposed to be harmless.
647
00:24:41,762 –> 00:24:43,529
Oh, come on.
Cut them some slack.
648
00:24:43,531 –> 00:24:45,396
They’re upset
about losing their identities.
649
00:24:45,398 –> 00:24:48,399
They called you an old donkey.
Doesn’t that piss you off?
650
00:24:48,401 –> 00:24:49,768
Well, I don’t love it.
651
00:24:49,770 –> 00:24:52,136
Actually, I didn’t sleep
at all last night.
652
00:24:52,138 –> 00:24:53,438
But we got a job to do.
653
00:24:53,440 –> 00:24:55,840
– Rabbit, how’s your head?
– It’s okay.
654
00:24:55,842 –> 00:25:00,213
That, uh… Genevieve,
she, uh, patched me up.
655
00:25:00,215 –> 00:25:02,313
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
656
00:25:02,315 –> 00:25:03,281
Oh, please!
657
00:25:03,283 –> 00:25:05,917
Frenchy had her eyes
on my thighs all night long.
658
00:25:05,919 –> 00:25:07,051
– Yeah.
– Did she, now?
659
00:25:07,053 –> 00:25:08,287
FARVA: Oh, yeah?
Keep laughing.
660
00:25:08,289 –> 00:25:10,588
I bet you a buck I bang
the crêpe out of her first.
661
00:25:10,590 –> 00:25:11,757
– (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
– Okay.
662
00:25:11,759 –> 00:25:12,992
Put your money
where your mouth’s been.
663
00:25:12,994 –> 00:25:15,728
Fuck the buck.
Loser sits on a cactus.
664
00:25:15,730 –> 00:25:17,928
No, loser gets a perm.
665
00:25:17,930 –> 00:25:20,866
No, loser cuts his
pinky-toe off with a shovel.
666
00:25:20,868 –> 00:25:22,467
Take that bet.
667
00:25:22,469 –> 00:25:24,470
– I suggest you take the bet, Rabbit. Really, honestly.
– Jump on it.
668
00:25:24,472 –> 00:25:25,671
Please shut up, Farva.
669
00:25:25,673 –> 00:25:27,138
Okay. We have a deal.
670
00:25:27,140 –> 00:25:28,607
You heard it, right?
We have a deal.
671
00:25:28,609 –> 00:25:31,277
Oh, so, this is where they
keep the illegal aliens, huh?
672
00:25:31,279 –> 00:25:33,278
– (BELLEFUILLE CHUCKLES)
– Ah, welcome, Officers!
673
00:25:33,280 –> 00:25:34,914
Welcome to the guys
who stood around
674
00:25:34,916 –> 00:25:36,580
while people threw
hockey pucks at us?
675
00:25:36,582 –> 00:25:37,715
You gonna
come up here talking
676
00:25:37,717 –> 00:25:39,284
all that
“Make America Great” crap,
677
00:25:39,286 –> 00:25:42,120
you’re bound to catch a face
full of Canadian tomato.
678
00:25:42,122 –> 00:25:43,489
O’HAGAN: Okay, okay.
Listen up.
679
00:25:43,491 –> 00:25:45,457
Two of you are gonna ride
with the Mounties.
680
00:25:45,459 –> 00:25:47,291
They’ll show you where
the bodies are buried.
681
00:25:47,293 –> 00:25:49,294
– BOTH: Not it.
– Actually, it is you two.
682
00:25:49,296 –> 00:25:50,361
(CHUCKLES)
683
00:25:50,363 –> 00:25:52,364
It’s not our idea
of a good time either, fellas.
684
00:25:52,366 –> 00:25:54,903
Personally, I’d rather
fuck a moose.
685
00:25:55,802 –> 00:25:57,502
You would need a ladder
to do that.
686
00:25:57,504 –> 00:26:00,905
Obviously, I would need
a ladder to fuck a moose.
687
00:26:00,907 –> 00:26:03,876
But I would find one,
and I would fuck that moose.
688
00:26:03,878 –> 00:26:05,043
O’HAGAN:
Okay!
689
00:26:05,045 –> 00:26:07,546
Thorny, Rabbit,
I got a highway job for you.
690
00:26:07,548 –> 00:26:08,549
Let’s do it!
691
00:26:12,919 –> 00:26:14,618
FARVA:
Hey, Cap? Cap?
692
00:26

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